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Addiction

When I'm Detoxing...

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When I'm Detoxing...

I wake up with some dirt still in my system from the night before and start thinking to myself that it's not going to be so bad... My mind can handle anything right? Unless, it's itself playing tricks on, well, itself. Then I'm fucked. So you bet your sweet ass I was wrong! I don't really care what you're detoxing from either. Whether it be mental health medication or illicit substances, or even overeating--which I love to do! --it's all the same to me. It's an absolute shit show. I'm usually on my knees crying like a little fucking baby,...

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Are There Drugs in This?

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Are There Drugs in This?

My immune system was shot when I first got clean. First I suffered from drug induced Tourette’s Syndrome, because of the dopamine drop of all the drugs I was on. My damn face wouldn’t stop twitching! It looked like little mini facial seizures and tics that would spread into my arms. Dopamine drops can be a bitch! But, hey… drugs are bad, right? On top of my addiction I was obese, but that didn’t last long. When I got clean I became anorexic and pretty soon it hurt to eat. I lost 115 pounds in 11 months. Lucky me! I...

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What's a Craving Feel Like?

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What's a Craving Feel Like?

It’s like an itch in the back of my throat that I just can reach, and if I were to put my fingers down my throat too far I’d vomit from a pure overdose of euphoric dissemblement. The feeling can’t be quenched by anything that anyone normal would find purposeful. Rather when I feel a craving come on I begin to find any reason to become sick or ill in efforts to get the “medicine” my body so deserves. I find a reason to feel bad, just so I can find a reason to feel better… When I’m feeling bad...

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How to Safely Use Drugs!

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How to Safely Use Drugs!

Did you know that some people think that you can use drugs safely? Some people have the mindset that if someone they know, or even don't know, is going to use drugs one way or another, that they might as well do drugs safely! Right? If you're not familiar with this technique of drug use, or rather, safely using drugs, it's called harm reduction. It's a fairly common practice for a person in addiction, or advocate, with a different mindset than abstinence. (DYK FACT: A form of tobacco harm reduction is switching to an E-Cig) People who advocate for harm reduction techniques...

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I Was My Own Worst Stigma!

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I Was My Own Worst Stigma!

My substance use started off in my early youth, a young age, and continued until around the end of my youth and early adulthood. So, it’s safe to say that I got clean at a young age too, which is great, but left me with a lot to learn. But, that doesn’t take away from the fact that I did some really terrible things during my active addiction. Some of those things that I did, specifically a name-calling judgmental attitude, were because I felt that I didn’t know any better, while my parents would argue that they raised me differently...

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