Some sober friends and I were talking about past times. We were reminiscing about some of the worst times we had gone through in active addiction, as a friendly reminder to never go back there. Some scenarios we came up with were things like the previous article I wrote on what it feels like to be dope sick, and now this article titled: “Ripping off the Drug Dealer.”
Among many scenarios I encountered in active addiction this was by far one of the scariest. There were multiple situations in which I was in that I didn’t have any money, but was completely and utterly, dope sick.
My partner in crime and I—at the time of active addiction—came up with many scenarios to get money, we were resourceful, very “resourceful.” Many addicts go through many scenarios of stealing form their drug dealer or stealing from public places to support their addiction. Some steal from family members or complete strangers, it doesn’t matter who it is when we are dope sick. We just need to fix it… get the term “fix.” It just seems like a force of “habit” at that point. It’s all natural—per say.
It also feels like a “need” not a “want, “I just cannot get by without it!” I never wanted to do these things but unfortunately my addiction had other plans for me. It was either “feel completely ill and end up in the hospital” or “steal—possibly end up in prison for a felony—and then still probably end up in the hospital from overdosing…” or my occurrences of cotton fever from injecting cotton into my bloodstream from intravenous drug abuse.
I didn’t want to go to that liquor store that day. I just didn’t want to do it! But I had to.
I didn’t want to be the getaway car or put another person in the position of A) Feeding my habit & B) drawing a gun on my accomplice and I when stealing from him.
My partner walked in to the liquor store not intending to buy liquor, or buy anything at that. I still don’t know who pulled the gun first, but I remember my partner being chased as I slide the door open, leaving my car in idle ready to book it!
My partner jumps in. How did the liquor store attendant not get my license number, though? I do not know. I definitely had someone looking out for me.
My partner and I took the 5 cartons of cigarettes we made out with from the heist up to another liquor store located in the heart of Detroit, it was all-suspicious.
This other liquor store took the cartons at half price. That still wasn’t enough for a whole days worth of heroin for my partner or I, so we repeated the cycle in different cities until we had enough dope to “get by.” It was the cycle of our addictions running rampant, it had hold, and wouldn’t let go, almost putting us both in jail, but leading to worse things, much worse things.
This wasn’t the worst scenario we went through. We actually would steal directly from our drug dealers, apparently cutting off all ties with him after that occurrence… apparently duh! Another scenario I’m surprised I didn’t get shot!
My partner had told me about ways to rip the drug dealer off about halfway into my first heroin addiction binge. Why he didn’t tell me sooner, I don’t know?
He would stroll up and sometimes pull a gun on the drug dealer, just straight up, “Hey bitch give me your money” type of stuff. This dude was ballsy, eventually doing dirtier deeds than I would dare to do, high or not!
The fact that he didn’t get shot on the spot was beyond me, but in his defense, he only did this to dealers that would drive by. Literally, “pulling a drive-by” for his heroin fix.
Other times my partner would just want some weed, and those ones were easy gets, he showed me on a few trips and then let me pull my own.
Usually someone who dealt with weed would also let you weigh it and check the “product” yourself. It was as simple as asking to inspect the “product” and then having your car already set up in a position to make a “getaway.” Literally pulling a “heist.”
The dealer would stroll up, and my partner was a good friend of his, apparently. [But didn’t know where each other lived]
The dealer said, “Go-head inspect it, I have other clients to attend to.” The dealer wasn’t even 15 years old and I could see the “oblivious” in his eyes. He walked to a car about 50 feet from us and he made it easy. We didn’t even need to be a speed racer and wheel out of there. We again literally were “wheeling and dealing.” We got away like the stealth-mobile; no one even saw it coming.
Selling half of the weed to others for heroin money, we made out with both okay that time, but it was never enough.
The dealer calls my partner threatening to “snub nose” us in the back of the head. This means that he will pull a snub-nosed gun to the back of our heads and pull the trigger. Eventually my partner threatened to do the same thing to me for “trying” to have sex with his girlfriend. None of which was true, I was just trying to get him to go to rehab for the 13th time and I thought she’d listen. We were still youth, no one-listened… parents you’ll get that one.
My partner ran out of drug dealers he “wanted” to rip off for his “need” to do it, he kept a couple around, but only the good ones, with good product.
Down the road he started having me pull the “stunts.” I was taking a different approach though.
He would send me to the drug dealers he had already ripped off and we would get about a half of an ounce of heroin in one stunt but we could never go back. This was better than my partner made out sometimes, too.
My plan was to take the guy who introduced my partner to drugs to pull the heist, but my actual partner didn’t know I had him on my side. The “teacher” for both of us would hide in the back seat under a black blanket, me being the getaway car again, and as the dealer strolled up the “teacher” popped up from the back of the blanket, as I covered my eyes from the heinous moves to come.
I don’t know if I was scared, ashamed, or both.
These are just some scenarios I went through to get dope. All of which I’m not proud of but will hope they will inspire people to stay towards recovery and never give up on staying clean. It is possible to come back from scenarios like these, people do all the time, the people here and people like me are living proof of that. Just stay clean and do the right thing!
I pulled a lot of “stunts” to get dope; I would pawn people’s things and pawn my own things. I did all of these things not thinking twice during active addiction, but when I literally had NOTHING left in early recovery, it all hit me.
I was hurt and I had hurt others and myself. I stole from people close to me, I stole from people I didn’t know, the disease of addiction didn’t discriminate I just wanted to get high. I’m not proud of my actions, but these are real things addicts go through to get drugs.
I spent nearly $6,000 of my own money, $8,000 in pawned money, $5,000 in stolen money in just the course of a 6-month period during my stint with alcohol and heroin combination [the first time].
This wasn’t just drugs for me it was for anyone I was involved with. Misery sure did love company, and addiction made us all do things we didn’t “want” to do, but things we felt we “needed” to do in order to survive with our addiction. There is a force driving addiction whether it be considered a “disease” or not, when caught in it you feel the “need” to feed it, but you definitely don’t want to keep doing it after doing things like this to keep feeding it.
But the truest thing there is is freedom from addiction and freedom from ever doing these things again. So, please… choose recovery, stay drug free, and live happily. It’s possible, and these are true humanly struggles. Just always remember stay clean and do the right thing!
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