Warning: Trigger Warning : Warning Why letting go is so hard.
So, I’ll get straight to the point folks. Coming down to brass tact’s—or nuts and bolts—addiction and recovery are two completely lifestyles, ways to live, and mindset.
Everyone asks the question: “Why is it so hard to let go?”
I must answer back; getting high does feel really F3c#in$ good… sometimes. Life can suck. It can throw you curveballs.
But through addiction you’ve suppressed these “effects,” like a force field per say. But, everyone knows you only have so much to give. You can only “hold out” for so long.
Then on the other hand you are king—or queen hmp hmp—of the world, the next day. So, what’s not to say recovery is F3c#in$ awesome, too! Am I not right? Life has ups and down.
I think what—and why—a lot of recovery programs give advice like: “Acceptance—Mindfulness—Patience,” is because it’s not only a complete commitment, but it’s a completely different you. It’s a completely different me. Recovery and addiction are complete and separate, each and of their own.
They have different meanings, different concepts, different ways to go about life, different ways to approach situations, different ways to live! But, different isn’t always bad.
There is no way to say that addiction and recovery have anything in common but it’s true. They are polar opposites. Like butting too positive magnets together! “No attraction.”
Think about the truth. You need to do every thing different. This is also why recovery programs express: “Working on yourself, doing the steps, getting a sponsor, making meetings, realizing reservations.”
These are all parts of our old past—assuming you’ve done drugs and are now in recovery. When people say change, they really mean everything this time. It’s hard facts and their cold, but people need to, and want to approach this situation very delicately. That’s not a bad idea, but some people learn differently.
Others, they learn by blunt force trauma. Each has their ways and own perspectives. But, sometimes you just need to hear the truth. Every once in a while a snap back to it all isn’t so bad… “Sometimes.”
But when is something like this appropriate to say? When can you tell someone this or admit to being ready to hear it?
Timing is a driving force in the recovery world. So is the term patience. What we need to learn first and foremost is that life is full of ups and downs. That’s quite honestly, just life. Like you hear: “That’s’ just life.”
You win some or you lose some. Curveballs are usually expected or some would say: “You’re not truly living!”
Timing and patience are the essence of the terms: “Take it one day, one step, one second at a time.”
It’s utterly unbearable to think: “Is this forever?” I wish whoever invented the term forever was, well, never mind. It’s really not forever as time is a figment of our imagination. We essentially don’t need to take it one day at a time, rather we must just live it. Am I not right again?
Most won’t admit it. But this is where we get the pivotal moments during ceremony to celebrate clean time—in an essence. If we are speaking completely social sciences, this is the possible outcome of these programs. Why celebrate time when we celebrate the time we’ve lived? Some don’t get that opportunity. R.I.P.
No one stuck in a time of instant gratification wants to hear you must change. But you have to change slowly over time, too.
People without addictions wouldn’t want to hear this spoken to them either! It would sound like a stutter. No one would understand why. And the truth is… they don’t. They really, really don’t. But everyone is sure as heck trying!
It hurts writing this and is giving me slight angst, too. But, I push on.
Acceptance is a crucial part to any “program” or change of self, too.
They say some of the biggest stressors in life are getting married, having a child, and losing a loved one.
With addiction you may lose or gain all three in the process. Each story is different but they all end up finding ways to be similar. This is truly why each and every addict will tell you things like: “Different names; Different places; Same ole shi#!”
These words are spoken because it is true. It’s all of the same old tricks and habits. In social sciences this a culture—it is a true way of life. All must coincide to become such a phenomenon that’s sweeping the world.
The fad: “Addiction: Sweeping the world by storm.” Will that make your front headlines next newsday?
***I dare any newspaper out there to do it! I’ll collaborate right now—right here. My email is SubstanceForYou@gmail.com sincerely one disgruntled addict (as I tremble continuing to write!).***
As my dad always tells me: “You know way to much about this shi# for any one to know.” I reply to him, “I’m only 24 you know that?” He will tell me he understands. Most truly don’t. I can proudly say he’s getting there!
Who would have thought it? That addiction would come to this? That is would create a culture all in its own—ending in destruction of our youth, elderly, and middle-aged person… have I left anyone out?
I sure as hell wouldn’t have hoped it would be our “new generation”—or to go through it first hand! But, I’m here, too. I’m fighting like the rest of us between morality, rationalities, and commonality.
Letting go is so hard because you are killing a side of yourself that you’ve become to know. You’ve already accepted a lot of this. Or at least you thought you have until you surrender to being clean.
But, when you give it up your grieving. Getting posttraumatic stress isn’t a surprise. I suffered from it, insomnia, and panic induced night terrors. (It gets better, don’t worry I’m fine and you will be, too!)
This is not only changing but it’s conforming in essence. Getting clean is like wearing a promise ring or taking vows to God. Here again is why many say to grasp onto a higher power… “even if it were the tables” (That was mine for a long time).
It’ll be hard to do on your own. The truth is though; you’ve never, ever been alone. Firstly, I’m fighting right here with you. Secondly, so are millions more. Thirdly, someone out there loves you, heck, a lot of people do! Someone you don’t even know probably loves you! I know I do!
Reach out. Give a hug. Pulling on another program theme but who knows who will need it, honestly? Is it that hard to be a little extra positive? It’s no extra effort to be a little bit nicer to everyone? Some would argue that it is. Others the contrary. I leave that for you to figure out on your own terms.
On your own terms. Where do you hear this? In every recovery program there is a process of “coming to terms,” or “life on life’s terms.”
Breaking down the psychological and social approach behind addiction and recovery may lead to a break through. But with these realizations the truest thing is that it leads to a breakthrough for you.
It’s not all so bad, is it? It can seem like something hard to do, something hard to realize. I lost a lot more than just myself in the past trust me!
But, then finding the right thing to hold on to is what we all need. Attachment issues have been a big debate in addiction for years among psychologists. But, we usually choose to hold on to the thing that feels the greatest. Many fall into addictions. Showing the true progression of why many believe such a fad even exist.
The best thing that ever happened to me was finding something—ANYTHING—I could do clean that made me feel the same pleasure release as getting high. I know this sounds a bit harsh but hear me out, it’s good, I swear. I wasn’t replacing it with just one thing; I was replacing it with a variety of different things while bringing them together! Again, stressing the concept of unity in a rehabilitation program.
When I say getting high again without getting high now I’m living off a phrase I’ve always lived off: “Getting High off of Life. I’m just High on Life”
(No I’m not gambling or going to strip clubs if that’s where your thinking I’m headed!)
Like many programs, I stress the promises that altruism bring to addiction recovery. So, I write.
Altruism—as described in a previous article—is the concern and general welfare of others.
When I write it seems to give a good insight into things for people, especially the ones who don’t have it or need it most. It doesn’t hurt me to share that, right?
I just hope it helps—it feels like it does—but I could be too humble again. People yell at me for that, too. I used to say I’m sorry a lot early in my recovery (as stressed in a previous article done here, too).
You can see it all working together paving way for a whole new life. The signs all point to positive. It’s a different you. But, it really doesn’t all sound so bad?
I live to help others living. I love to help. I love to write. The best use of my life is giving back to those who need to hear things like this. Sometimes, the best therapy is to just accept it. I’ve interwined the best parts of my life, and the least I can do is share that with others. There is nothing better than that.
Again, I urge you if you want to share your journey email me (SubstanceForYou@gmail.com).
I don’t hate where I am now. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I love the new me. And, I will sure as hell love the new you!
Recovery does change you. But, maybe the irritation wasn’t all for not?
I remember the time my dad saw me smile for the first time in 2 years (he said). I couldn’t remember how long it had been. But, I guess he had been counting.
Letting go of the old lifestyle can be so hard. But, sharing a special moment with someone you care about and cares about you is priceless. Thanks for the opportunity pops!Sometimes I stay awake until the sun rises just to make sure it’s still there. Every morning it comes. It’s the simple things in life I adore, that I couldn’t see when I was obliterated.
I can’t believe that within the next year I’ll share that with a wife. Maybe leave a story for a grandchild to read one day. Who knows where this will lead. The possibilities really are endless while staying clean.
You can travel without issue. Many in addiction recovery explore the world! Some become one with it as their saving grace!
The simple fact is because there are so many glorious things to live in this world that only take a tiny amount of effort; life clean is so much simpler (drawing in another program saying!).
The idea of it alone is astronomical in sense. It’s completely out of this world. Just being there. Being aware. Being able to care! It’s all you’ve ever needed. I know it’s all I’ve ever needed.
It does change you. It really does. Can’t you see it? I really hope you do. I hope you understand that letting go is hard. But, it’s really not that bad is it?
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