Do I pursue Mania or does Mania pursue me? –
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Do I pursue Mania or does Mania pursue me?

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Part 1: Do I Pursue Mania?

I’ve been manic before. Heck, I’m manic now. Every time an episode comes on, I feel as if it’s all my fault. Doctors tell us it isn’t. Therapists tell us it isn’t. However, that’s exactly how we do feel. We feel as if it is us, if we had done or thought something to cause it. What if our manic episodes were caused by our own thoughts? What would be the reasons? What even is mania?

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Mania makes you want to sing. It makes you want to dance. You talk so fast it takes three times for someone to understand you. Sleeping? You wish! But at least you feel fully rested in the morning. And throughout the day. And welcome to Sleepless Village again. Some people even steal and have reckless sex. Gambling is a big problem for people in a manic state as well.

These things all cause pleasure, which while a manic person already had a lot of it, they’re always looking for more when in a severe manic state. It’s a great feeling to be in because you are so, so happy. You seem to think that you are the happiest you’ve ever been each time you are in a manic episode.  You feel like you are the best thing that’s come out since the Pope! But there is a real question to be asked…

Do people actually pursue mania? I mean, getting to feel great about yourself, life, and everything in between seems like a good incentive to get ‘into’ mania. Right?

Then when you are manic, you can get A LOT done. A lot of the time it’s on one subject. If you need to focus on the subject, pull out the mania card. At least from my personal experience!

Mania gives you a ton of energy, too. Seems true to the name, right?  If this hypothesis is correct, than a person could bring on mania to play football or run a race and win. Another win for mania. Or so you would think…

Why sleep? If you are going to feel fully rested the next day, you also must stay up all night doing whatever it is your mania is pursuing. You can do things during mania that you couldn’t during the day and not worry about getting tired. Is this really a perk? Think on that really long and hard.

So… why not pursue mania of it’s that great? I mean, is it all really that great? Health wise, mentally, physically, spiritually?

Okay, now we have that a little bit of perspective out of the way let’s give you the truth from someone currently suffering from mania… me. Let’s move on to the facts, from a bipolar person’s point of view. Let me give you an in-depth view of the reality of it, and how I feel deep down about mania.

Part 2: Does mania pursue me?

I don’t want to be in mania. Nobody wants to be in mania. You see things that aren’t there. You’re paranoid that someone is watching you. Why in the name of all things good would we pursue the devil symptoms of our bipolar disorder?

mania Do I pursue Mania or does Mania pursue me? 2Q

Chemicals. Just one simple word is all I can comprehend to answer right now: “Chemicals.” That’s the number one reason people with bipolar have our ups and downs. We take medicine when it’s threading on. But do you want to know another reason we take our medicine? To keep the mania (and depression) away in the first place! There is no person with bipolar disorder who would choose to have these episodes.

There are people who stop their medicines when they are in a mania. They then start to get worse and could end up in the hospital. Nobody wants to be in the hospital, especially for an illness of that caliber.

Stopping the medicine might make you think that this point is on the “person pursues mania” side, but it isn’t.

When a person is in a manic state, it comes from their mind. Their mind is telling their body to go full steam ahead. So the person feels so good, they think they don’t need their medication any more.They stop, not realizing the consequences at first, and then start to go downhill. This could lead to hospitalization, job loss, or even suicide. The mania is pursuing the person in the manic state. Not the other way around.

Part 3: I am in Mania

As a currently manic person, I can tell you it is a combination of stress and chemicals. All I can say to that is “You darn stress hormones and neurotransmitters, all you do these days is mess things up”. That is exactly what they do.

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So, to answer the primary question: Mania does, 100% pursue people. We can cause it ourselves, but only if it is already coming.

I’m not sure why anybody would want to cause mania. Sure, it’s happy, sure you’re not tired, and sure, you can get a lot of things done. But the negatives so outweigh the positives because you’re also scared for your life. Your mind races so fast it could be in NASCAR. It’s nothing I would even purposefully pursue, and I can’t see why anybody else would.

Mania is the villain. I, my friend, am only the recipient of its blows.

Guest blog courtesy of Alex H.   See more on Alex’s writing here–> “HERE”

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