I walked around feeling sort of groggy this morning. I was a bit depressed and sad that I actually slept in a bit passed what I'd wanted to. But the worst part about it was that I was on top of the world last night! I even told my mom, “When I run I feel so much better than I ever did getting high! My body feels so… perfect!”
It’s true though. And I never used to be like this. I tended to be more of a weight lifter, and yeah, I got a good pump on and put a ton of muscle with training five days a week. But even then, I still needed days or even a week off at points. But with running, it’s so much… different!
When I was weight lifting I'd always been in a habit of bulking. I never really got into the trimming until recently I was told, “Hey! Your belly looks big!” Yeah that could be a side effect of chocolate milk and chicken after a workout, but if your intending to bulk realize those abs and a six-pack won’t be there. But thank God I never grabbed a different kind of six-pack; booze, stay away from me!
So when everyone in my life told me to get my ass out from in front of the computer screen and to give the strength training a break I told them that they were crazy! How would I get my daily fix of blood flow moving from top to bottom of my body? I didn’t even think it was possible for me to quit something I loved so much, unless I replaced it with a different, natural and healthy high. Yeah, I said it… Natural high. Although these ones are healthy and considered holistic healing! Trust me, I’ve tried it more than well… once or twice, or a hundred times! Lol!
Starting running wasn’t easy for me. Especially with all of the extra weight I’d put on from bulking with weight training. But, as my dad said:
“You may be able to out bench me. But I am still healthier than you after a doctor’s exam!”
And you know what he was right! Because even during the weight lifting I was still getting out of breath and light headed at times. Why? Well, I wasn’t balancing my life to be healthy, I just wanted to look good and that is the same old self-defeating behavior I had during active addiction, but it was manifesting again six years clean and sober into my recovery. Thank the Lord I have people to call me on my bullshit! Do you? Bullshit calling is crucial to our success! ;)
The first day running was torturous! I was a 320 pound, 6’4” man running and not even wearing the right shoes or socks! I remember this terrible wheeze I’d get not even a couple feet into picking up the pace. I’d be wearing XXL style clothes that barely fit me, especially with how much my shoulders had grown from working out! But, as they say, no one gets better over night! So, I kept on it, even though it was complete hell!
The second day, third day, and fourth day I was still wheezing. Heck, a couple of days into my second week that wheezing was there, but it was getting better. Just like my recovery was getting better because I was learning balance. I didn’t do more than my body could handle, but pretty soon, things were going great and I loved the feeling I got not just after the running (like in the beginning), but today I can go so much further and longer, that the feeling of wellness comes during my run.
Today I’m successfully down to loosely fitting into an XL hooded sweatshirt and tee shirt, from an XXL that wasn’t fitting so well at all! I just got back from my run and it’s done so much for my health that I’m grateful for family and friends who called me out on my bullshit!
I didn’t wheeze once today, in fact, I ran for so long that I forgot I was running and was enjoying the last warm day we will probably have in Michigan for a while. I didn’t even get out of breath too, it was great how regulated my heart beat was with my steps and breath. It just felt right. And about 15 minutes in I looked up, finally beating in sweat and felt that natural high that was telling me I was doing right by my body in a healthy way.
This was a natural high that no drug or drink could ever give me a feeling of wellness from! I could literally feel my blood flowing from head to toe, my body was warm and serene! I could really feel the serenity glowing on me. I could feel the weight dripping off of me! My muscles were toned and feeling the blood oxygenate them with healthy levels of dopamine and serotonin only that a runner’s high could grant was amazing! My headache immediately dissipated and I don’t think I’d have any inspiration to write any bit of article unless I’d of ran first! They say it increases your creativity and focus, too!
So, I’ll say it again… thanks for those people who call me on my bullshit because that’s a part of my program today. It’s my, “WHOA, BUDDY!” button that tells me when things need to change. And this time, I can safely say I’m living HIGH ON LIFE, NOT DRUGS! And as our shirt on our shop goes, “High on Life, Don’t use or Abuse, Hope is our Substance For You.” And if anything, is true, it’s that! This is a feeling that no drink or drug will ever replace, and I will continue to better myself in healthy ways!
So can I get a hell yeah!?!?! Who’s staying high on life with me! Let’s get healthy people! #GetIt #HighonLife