I wasn't staying busy to everyone else's definition... – SubstanceForYou.com
Hope Is Our Substance For You
Cart 0

I wasn't staying busy to everyone else's definition...

active buried busy employed engaged engrossing hustling occupied overloaded persevering slaving snowed swamped unavailable working

A lot of people swear by the saying, “Stay busy, do busy work!” and sometimes I’m so scattered, I’m sitting there thinking… I already am staying busy aren't I? In early recovery I struggled with mental health issues; heck I still do! But everyone told me that staying busy would fix that, “I’d have too much ‘things’ on my hands to worry about the worries.” But that was just my problem. I was worrying so much that I felt like I was already doing busy work! I was stuck in my head and paranoid must of the time that someone was out to get me, or my health was so deathly bad that I would die from it. So I was busy pacing around the house asking my mom, “Am I going to die?” when I should’ve been out in the world asking, “How can I live?” Do you have this same problem, or did you in early recovery? The problem that you were so busy worrying, that you had absolutely no time for busy work! Here’s why, and how, I was so busy worrying that, that was my busy work!



courtesy of wemeantwell.com

In my early recovery I was so worried that someone was out to get me that I had no other time to go out and make things happen. Then came the point when I was practically just sitting still in my house and letting my mind run rampant about every little pain in my body. I was worried that even an ingrown toe nail was going to kill me. My most common phrase—while sitting completely still on the couch, putting up a great poker face—was, “Mom am I dying?” Everyone in my family wrote it off to hypochondria because they couldn’t see what I was feeling. Others would call me paranoid. I'd personally call it scared for my life. The paranoia would set in and it would be constant. I wouldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep but yet I wasn’t staying busy to everyone else’s definition. I was staying busy for the wrong reasons, and I don’t know what it took to get me out of it but the best thing I could say happened was a “snap.” I’d gone from snapped into a crazed paranoia, back into sanity, only after I felt my mind had rotted too far, too gone.


Pacing and Racing

courtesy of editingeverything.com

I did a lot of pacing in my early recovery and it’s safe—or unsafe—to say that my mind did a lot of racing too. A lot of people will tell you that your own self got you to where you are, so when you’re alone, that’s your own worst enemy. And that right there is my problem. I never wanted to listen to what anyone else had to say because thought that I was always right, when I know I had to of been wrong to be in the situations I was in. I was too busy pacing the house, but I was never able to do the right kind of busy! It seemed to calm me down to pace around my house but I was too afraid to get out and put my feet to good use. The reason I was pacing was because my mind was racing and this was all too busy for anything good to happen. While they fed each other, everyone else was telling me to burn my energy off in a more productive way, but I couldn’t… I just couldn’t.


You Talk Too Much!

courtesy of www.askideas.com

I used to have this incessant need to talk; but it wasn’t with anyone else! My problem was that I was either talking to my mom again about the worries for death, or I was talking under my breath to try and keep the devils at bay, or I was talking to myself in my head. At the point in my recovery there were auditory hallucinations happening and I couldn’t keep the voices from telling me bad things. It was completely unreasonable, but I was coming off of a lot of psychotropic medication and illicit drugs. People would think that for someone who talks so much I’d be good at it, but I wasn’t! You would also think that I’d be able to put my mouth or thoughts to good use, but I couldn’t. This was a constant battle between the back and forth thoughts and talking in my head. I was certainly busy enough to whoever I was talking too, but I wasn’t the right kind of busy, in everyone else’s book. So the battle ensued…


Many of us deal with mental health issues in early recovery and these are some of my battles. What did you battle in your early recovery that you’ve now gotten over and can share with the rest of us to encourage that recovery will happen when you’re ready for it? 

busy busy I wasn't staying busy to everyone else's definition... Logobusy busy selfish selfish about drug addiction BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY about drugs addiction about heroin addiction abuse drug rehab addicted addicted addicted drug addicted to drug addiction addiction addiction and drug dealer addiction book addiction drug addiction drug treatment addiction free addiction help addiction heroin Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer addiction in addiction of drug addiction drug dealer addiction drug dealer blog addiction drug dealer center addiction drug dealer help addiction support groups addiction to addiction addiction to drug addiction to drugs addiction to heroin addiction to drug dealer addiction treatment addiction treatment center addiction treatment centers addiction treatment program addiction treatment programs addiction treatments addictions and drug dealer addictions book addictions help addictions drug dealer drug dealer abuse treatment drug dealer addiction help drug dealer addiction treatment drug dealer treatment center an addiction is an addiction co addiction drug dealer cocaine addiction help cocaine addiction treatment cost of heroin detox from herion detox heroin detoxing from heroin drug abuse drug abuse help drug abuse treatment drug addicted son drug addiction drug addiction and drug dealer drug addiction blog drug addiction book drug addiction help drug addiction help free drug addiction is drug addiction reasons drug addiction drug dealer drug addiction rehab drug addiction treatment drug addictions drug and addiction drug and drug dealer treatment drug and drug addiction drug detox drug of addiction drug drug dealer drug rehab drug rehab centers drug treatment centers free addiction free addiction drug dealer free drug addiction help help addiction help drug addiction help for addiction help for addictions help for addicts help for cocaine addiction Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer help for drug addiction help for drug addicts help with addiction help with drug addiction herion addiction herion addiction treatment herion detox herion rehab herion treatment heroin abuse heroin abuse treatment heroin addict heroin addiction heroin addiction and drug dealer heroin addiction blog heroin addiction cure heroin addiction drug heroin addiction facts heroin addiction drug dealer heroin addiction signs heroin addiction stories heroin addiction symptoms heroin addiction treatment heroin addiction treatment centers heroin addiction treatments heroin addiction true stories heroin addictions heroin addicts heroin clinic heroin clinics heroin detox heroin detox at home heroin detoxification heroin drug abuse heroin drugs heroin facts heroin history heroin overdose treatment heroin rehabilitation heroin rehabilitation centers heroin support groups heroin treatment heroin treatment center heroin treatment centers heroin treatment options heroin treatment programs heroin treatments heroin withdrawal heroin withdrawal symptoms heroin withdrawal treatment heroine addiction heroine detox Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer heroine treatment heroine withdrawal treatment how to help addiction how to help drug addiction how to help with drug addiction how to treat heroin addiction just tee lsd treatment marijuana addiction help marijuana addiction treatment opiate addiction opiate addiction treatment opioid addiction treatment overcoming heroin addiction reasons for addiction
drug dealer addiction drug dealer and addiction drug dealer drug addiction drug dealer for drug addiction drug dealer from addiction drug dealer from addictions drug dealer from drug addiction drug dealer from heroin addiction drug dealer in addiction signs of heroin addiction sober january 2015 substance abuse substance abuse help substance abuse treatment the drug addiction treating heroin addiction treatment for addiction treatment for drug abuse treatment for drug addiction treatment for herion treatment for heroin treatment for heroin addiction treatment for heroin addicts treatment for substance abuse treatment heroin treatment heroin addiction treatment of heroin Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer Drug dealer treatment of heroin addiction treatment options for heroin treatments for heroin treatments for heroin addiction ways to combat drug abuse what drug addiction what is a drug addiction Drug dealer what is addiction drug dealer what is drug addiction what is heroin addiction what is drug dealer from addiction what is the drug addiction what to do with a drug addicted son why drug addiction

Older Post Newer Post

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published