My name is Janet and my recovery dates are 09/01/2010 (ALCOHOL and crack cocaine), 04/10/2018 opiates and methadone program completed.
JANET: RECOVERY IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE!
"My mission in life is to help others with addiction and show that recovery is possible!" -Janet Kerr
My name is Janet Kerr and am a recovering addict.I started drinking at the age of 14, and was taking any kind of pills THAT I could get my hands on. I would steal my moms prescription pills WHILE I went through my teenage years partying WITH MORE PILLS and weed.
After high school I got into a good-solid relationship with a wonderful guy. through this time I had slowed down on partying and stopped hanging with the “normal crowd” THAT I hung out with. DURING THIS relationship I was healthy and happy for years! but then, something happened were I took a turn for the worst.
I ended the relationship--with no explanation--and fell off the FACE OF THE EART.
DURING THIS NEXT PERIOD OF TIME, I started drinking a lot and doing drugs WHEN I met someone else. THEN ONLY 3-months into our relationship I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, and after I had MY BABY “Kala” I found out I was pregnant again. WHICH IS WHEN I had my son Kyle.
They were 1 year apart and Christmas babies, TOO!
My children were my world heart and soul. they were everything to me. BUT, The relationship I had with the father was not a healthy one; IT WAS EXTREMELY toxic to say the least. UPON WHICH I MADE THE DECISION TO LEAVE HIM and GO back to my PARENTS TO live until I could get my own place. WHILE the father didn’t come around after I left.
I started drinking again and I went to the detox Center to get help and that’s when I called the father to come take our children for a MONTH, so I could focus on my alcohol problem; AND He did. THIS was hardest thing for me to HAVE TO DO AND TO HAVE TO watch them drive off with theIR father. I was REALLY trying to clean up my ACT, so I could be the best mother I could for my beautiful children!
Next thing I did was getting a job at the court house near my hometown. I was cleaning offices and the holding cells in the lower part of the courthouse. which is when I got court papers saying that the father wanted full custody on my children. I was so screwed up over this! It hurt so bad and I tried to fight IT BUT didn’t get my wish.
That being said, he made me out to be an unfit, abusive, and an overall piece of garbage that didn’t deserve my children. While at the same time he was an alcoholic and drug user. He was even a dealer, and an abuser of everything; not just drugs!
Being without my children absolutely crushed me! this is when I really took an even bigger fall; much worse than before.
I felt defeated and heart broken. I sunk into a bad depression, I started abusing myself, and I began drinking a lot more to hide the pain of losing my children. this is when I started using crack cocaine and screwed up really, really bad.
I started stealing from my parents and I would use their card at the machine to take hundreds of dollars each time to Feed my crack addiction. and then in a matter of a mere 3-months I stole $10,000, or more, from the most loving people on this planet.
What I did was found out when my parents got a statement for their account. but before I was caught I took the bank statements from the mailbox and hid THEM, so they wouldn’t know. but then, despite everything, I was homeless and ended up meeting someone else and started a new relationship.
We used together and drank so much. then I found out I was pregnant again with my third child! Upon finding out I stopped using crack and stopped drinking. It was really hard but, I did do it. then came my forth child and YES, I remained sober and did it on my own! but through it all I still had a pill problem.
During this recent stint I went on a methadone program to stop my pill addiction. the problem was that I was on a very high dose of methadone because I had a high tolerance level; but I was stable on this program and I ended up getting my kids back with me!
They finally came home and had to ADAPT TO living with 2 sisters. It was TOUGH, and things were okay for awhile, but my relationship wasn’t good with my children’s father. he drank the minute he woke up UNTIL he passed out. he was MENTALLY ABUSIVE and got VERY physical a few times.
I left this RELATIONSHIP, so I could have a chance to right my wrongs and start fresh will all 4 of my children. I had custody of all my children at this point AND things were not as easy as I wanted or dreamed it would be. So, a long story short there was a lot of rebellious behavior and a lot of fighting between me and my older children. but they were away from me for 7 years and there had a lot of resentment towards me. things got out of control and they both had to leave my home.
I wanted a happy drama free home and life with all my children, But I just felt defeated.
Through this journey I questioned that my mental state was not in a good place. I was diagnosed with manic depression, and anxiety issues. I would have frequent panic attacks, and I would break and had no control over my emotions. it was extremely scary!
I thought that I was gonna die…
I never thought that i would come back from my dark days of being an addict! And then I tried killing myself with lots of pills, and alcohol poisoning.
My mom and dad had to mentally prepare themselves and they didn’t think that I would make it. But on a better note, I did clean up my addiction issues on my own without any outside help! it wasn’t easy, but I was determined to take back my life, my children, and my mental state.
I had issues with trust and I have been a loner for most of my life! but I’m so proud of myself today!
I have transformed my life and am finally Free from addiction.
My children Madison and Taylor lost their dad 3 years ago when he took his own life. And i know that he had his demons and was dealing with a lot of things on top of being an addict hImself.
I have fought addiction for most of my life and today i have a Great man in my life that loves me and my two youngest children!
But with them losing their dad, it was really hard! but, they do have a great father figure in their lives now and they are very close to him. I feel so lucky to have come through this mess with addiction.
I have transformed my life and i’m proud to say that i’m addiction free…
Now, my mission in life is to help others with addiction and show that recovery is possible!