Some people write a manifesto, and they're feared for it. Others, write a manifesto and they're revered for it; and it's not always the good type either.
Only two words--combined by my own making--could describe the feeling from everything best:
You could look at all of my scriptures as a manifesto, and in return I'm viewed as a symbol of possibilities. Of, which, end in hope.
This may sound crazy. As a lot of my writing does. But, what makes my [previous] shitty humanly acts I, so intuitively posterize, from my active addiction be any different than a Ted Kaczynski manifesto?
As beliefs come from lifestyles run by an individualistic opinion only influenced by a community bind.
So, technically speaking, we both fucked up! And we didn't listen to our given life message correctly, therefor we compute and receive: "SYSTEM ERROR."
For just in the slightest you may be thinking that I sound sociopathic, and a tad less empathetic for humane nature; leading into psychopathy.
The difference between the Uni-Bomber and I is that he didn't claim a proper societal redemption in the same way that I did, have been purely noted for, and nor did anyone in a generally sane mindset agree with his end goal.
Inhere lies the difference...
I wanted to get better. And no, I didn't want to get better just to fit in. In fact the Uni-Bomber selfishly chose a death sentence for memories sake.
While my story is less about memory than it is to live with intentions of health, happiness, and the existence of putting a smile on the other mate in my [prior] shoes, or adhering the joy of a loved one consequentially from my endearment and nothing more intended in return favor, due, or owed.
So what makes me so special?
I'll keep it simple again. And you could use both words separately. And part of me prefers that you reverse them. But my most heartfelt feeling is that the two words, in any which order, accompany my lifestyle best...
Technically, yet truthfully, I'm honored to be a light that shines bright for almost everyone I come across. And I feel we can come to any conclusion of what we want with the terms #WEDORECOVER and #
But shit! Look at the facts...
I did some really messed up actions, intentions, outcomes, mindset, lifestyle, or whatever you want to call being stuck in the grips of an overpowering and debilitating addiction. An addiction that was strong enough to try to kill more than myself.
Yet, I was the one with puss filled needle holes up and down my body from the prolonged years of an active and grotesque addiction. One that consumed and ate my soul, like Snow White and the rotten red apple!
So, maybe I kind of get it, right?
A lot of people have gone through addiction and are looking at me now as someone who has 7 years of clean and sober recovery, betterment, and positive changes. But it's more than that.
I don't feel the need to claim a prolific existence. But that very essence is my existence and purpose, while only, my manifesto continues to grow towards a living example that what I went through can be overcome.
You can get better, and continue to as years go on. You may even force change, adapt, and roll with society in a glamorous way that any recovery poet would love.
We, as a collective, are all the proof someone struggling needs that life can get good by granting ourselves another breath of fresh air; I'm using my platform to show that love and hard work will always beat hate and ways we find to discriminate!
The uni-bomber was a slightly fucked up reference towards manifests, right? I get it. I probably shouldn't have gone there. And I mean, over seven years ago...
He was quite a prolific soul when it came to ideals and expression. To say the least. And if you don't think so, than does a pipe bomb filled with nails have left to prove?
Finally, contemplating my existence, I then remember, "Brian! You've been claimed to be quite prolific yourself! Have you not?"
So I feel that once you see a path that leads to opportunity and not destruction there is a considerable difference between Mr. Kaczynski and I. Although, from the start, I'm sure you could put a resemblance in place that only the path I took would lead to redemption and his ends in what three ways?
Let me tell you, as any type of destruction is also prolifically the same, and told in some pretty 'big books' as these three ways ends with:
JAILS, INSTITUTIONS, & DEATH
Now my clean has passed and the time it was arriving still lingers because I feel a little bit looney tunes. As I do every year around my clean date.
So no need to ask...
Yes, I get these really crazily delusional thoughts in my head; like the one referenced above! Especially when I look back on my series of works and how they effect people before, during, and after.
But I use these moments, oh so prolifically to set the stage for years to come. Then there is room left to examine myself and take an inventory of my own progress and defeats.
I just won't say the rest of my thought. So I just thank myself that I didn't need that judge, jury, and executioner like the Uni-Bomber had fucked himself with from the beginning.
In fact, all that I needed was to find the words and terms of my 'surrender.' Accept my recovery. And be open-minded to a future that I never thought I'd have until today.
So, I say, prolifically, altruistically, and with no question to beg any sort of differ...
Honestly and wholeheartedly speaking, for the final perfect touch, realization, and truth, the difference between a sociopathic serial tormenter sending a written lifetime story to be published in the news, versus a publication of my sort, kind, genre, or absoluteness is this...
"Some people just want to see the World burn."
-Alfred J. Pennyworth, Batman
"I just want me and those around me to become progressively better, together, forever."
-Substance For You on what it means to be prolifically altruistic.
Now praying for peace, I say:
Just for today,
Grant me the serenity,
To accept the things that I cannot change,
The courage to change things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Just for today,
I am thankful that I am clean, sober, and chose recovery.
Just for today,
I hope that when someone reads this,
Or any answer they may be searching for,
When they are ready,
They will know that one day,
They can be,
Be just as thankful as I am too.
Just for today,
I am thankful,
And remain open minded!
Just for today,
Just for today.
With love and everlasting efforts towards a prolifically altruistic existence,