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Confessions — father

19 Days Clean...

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19 Days Clean...

I'm Jake, have 19 days clean, and I call it my first real attempt at recovery, because before, it was either to satisfy my family, a girlfriend, a job, or whatever the cause may be; but the reason wasn’t me. This time getting clean is for me, and at the same time I’ll be helping my wife and newborn daughter. I want my daughter to grow up with a positive male role model in her life, while showing her that you can overcome anything that is put in your path. She’ll see the strength within me and our family when...

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Six Years Clean and a Merry Christmas!

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Six Years Clean and a Merry Christmas!

Today was my six years clean and sober, in recovery, and one of the best days that I’ve had in a long time! It was also Christmas, and sobriety was a great present to myself, as well as others. I wasn’t only rejoicing for me but I was rejoicing for the sanity of my mother and health of my father. Frankly, this was the first year that one, or both, of her sons hasn’t spent in the hospital. That alone is a blessing. But to say that I’ve been actively working on my recovery for six years now is a...

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It’s so Tough to be a Recovering Addict who Loves an Addict

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It’s so Tough to be a Recovering Addict who Loves an Addict

My heart is torn, it’s in two different places at the same time, and I’m not sure which direction to follow. This story is about an addict that I love who is surprisingly, with no reason or know-how, doing better today than he was yesterday. The problem here is that he’s done well so many times before, so I’m not sure which to believe. Is he really doing well or is this just a spurt? Do I believe who he was 5 years ago? An innocent, and mere child, to the facts known as life. Do I believe who he...

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My Son Overdosed and this is How I Remember Him…

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My Son Overdosed and this is How I Remember Him…

On May 19, 2013 my son Matthew died. He left us due to a combination of fentanyl and alcohol. That’s a lethal combination of substances to ingest. Matt was living in a sober home in a nearby city when this occurred. I’d spoken to him the evening before and everything seemed fine. So when the police showed up at my door to tell me he was gone I was truly shocked.  In fact, I argued with them at first, insisting that they were wrong, that I’d just spoken to him, and he was fine. As awful as that day was,...

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From All American to All Addict—Family Shouldn't Treat Addicts

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From All American to All Addict—Family Shouldn't Treat Addicts

He was the All-American boy and everyone loved him. Heck he even loved himself. But that being in the past tense it’s hard to say that he’s a little bit different now. I remember when he was the king of the football field in high school. He was someone that everyone wanted to be around and won the coach a new record for playoff wins at his school. There was a time that I remember he’d constantly have a smile on his face, but there’d be no reason for it. Heck that’s a great thing! But, today it’s a little...

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