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Mental Health

The Worst Thing Mental Illness Did to Me!

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The Worst Thing Mental Illness Did to Me!

Depression, chronic pain, panic disorders, and eating disorders are all like a double edged sword with no winning; especially coupling them all together into one horrible, wretched scenario. That is, at least until you get your twenty minutes of solace each day. We all know there are those twenty good minutes to remind us that there must be some sense of hope, until, we are torn to absolute shreds again. Dealing with depression or anxiety with chronic pain is worse than anything I’ve ever had to just “wait out.” And that’s exactly what it is… a waiting game! Who wins?...

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It ALWAYS Gets Better!

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It ALWAYS Gets Better!

Last night I was in terror of myself! I was having a bad day, well week, and everything that I did was wrong… just wrong! I was battling a respiratory infection and it wasn’t going well, damn near turning into the flu! Luckily I’d caught the doctor before it got too bad and he gave me some non-narcotic antibiotics and steroid dose pack for it. And if you know anything about me, my mental health goes crazy when I’m sick, as most addicts does! But to mention health, I had recovered from an auto-immune disorder that will forever give me...

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I'm So Selfish!

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I'm So Selfish!

Hell… I’m so sorry! I’ve been so selfish lately and I feel that I’ve done a bad job of controlling it. Or is that my problem too? Controlling too much of the situation! If I knew, we wouldn’t be here. With you mad at me. This just wouldn’t or shouldn’t be happening… right? But I don’t know who I am sometimes when the worst in me comes out! I just lose it!  There’s something to your silence that tells a man, “I screwed up.” But whether or not you’re silent, I know that I shouldn’t be facing the world the...

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I'm Alone in a Crowded Room...

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I'm Alone in a Crowded Room...

As I sit here in my quiet room, to my quiet self, I feel the void within my heart begin corrode like a transplant patient in need of intensive care. My life is filled with the glory of having too much of everything but not being able to find the right piece to mend my lonely soul.  I have people that love me, they are there. My wife most of all. But recently I feel as if so many are scared of my mental illness, that when it takes over there is no cure but to wait. The truth behind...

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Mental Illness 101

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Mental Illness 101

I need to get a grip on myself or else I’ll lose anything I hold dear; my sanity amongst it. The turmoil my mind leaves me in within this devilishly corrosive lifestyle is deafening. Although the truth bears a silence only the mouse in a corner of an abandoned crypt could speak. Each time I let the mental illness take my actions hostage it’s a danger to anyone around except myself because the sweet relief of it is that when I’m going through this devilish psychosis, I actually feel normal. If there is such a thing… Everyone else around me...

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