You may know my counterparts, Ana and Mia, or rather, Anorexia and Bulimia. Let’s not use their little pet names here, there’s nothing cute about them. But many of you do not yet know me. So I wanted to take the time to introduce myself. We hopefully will be meeting soon anyway. I’m the good to the bad, the healthy to the unhealthy, the happy to the sad. I’m what dreams are made of: “I am Recovery.”
I’m sure you’ve heard nothing but dreadful, sordid tales about me from those evil entities, Anorexia and Bulimia. They will do whatever it takes to make sure you never meet me. They will say anything to make me seem like nothing but evil, ugly, useless and painful. They will make sure you’re kept away from me because I hinder their chances to drain you of your energy and life. I prevent you from meeting Death. I promise you I am not what they say. You have no reason to fear me.
Anorexia and Bulimia will have promised you a lot of things, like weight loss, happiness, eternal beauty, control and strength. But let me ask you something. Did they keep their promises, or were they nothing more than fallacies? I’m sure you will have some trouble trusting me after so many lies and broken promises, but I can guarantee you this: I will never break my word to you. I will never break your heart.
I would describe myself to you, but I feel like there are more important things to discuss than my outward appearance. Instead of relaying my beauty to you, I’d rather tell you all of the things you can gain if you decide to take my hand and join me in the recovery journey.
When you come to me you will be broken. A fragile bird with broken wings. Anorexia and Bulimia will have torn you apart, piece by piece until there was nothing left. When I find you lying there, wishing for some type of savior, I will take you into my arms. I will hold you until you feel strong enough to stand. I will walk with you, hand in hand, as we pick up all the pieces of yourself and then I will help you glue them back together. I will help you repair each broken feather. And then when you’re strong and ready, I will teach you to fly once more.
Recovery will return you back to health. It will repair the damage that Anorexia and Bulimia have done to your body. It will let your throat heal and your nutrients get back to normal. It will fix your heart and will repair the damage you have done to your liver from using all the diet pills and laxatives. Recovery will give you time to heal the scars on your arms and the scars on your heart and soul. The Recovery journey will make your body whole once more.
Your mind will start to heal as well. Nutrients letting the neurons fire normally and the chemicals to find their natural balance. Your mind will start to push out the toxic negativity that once plagued your thoughts. Your mind will become a place where your intelligence will show and your positive thoughts will shine through. What was once depressed and gloomy will become bright and cheery. As time goes on the days where you feel down will be less and less. Recovery will start to show you the abundance of things you have to be grateful for. Especially your life.
As your relationship with me grows, so will your relationship with your body and food. You will start to see food as food and not something that will do you harm. Your energy will be replenished and your body will once again become strong and able. You will start to see your body as a temple, a piece of art. Unique and beautiful in a way that should be cared for. Cherished. Every flaw a part of you that makes a gorgeous whole. Each scar a part of your story, showing the power you hold in overcoming such struggles.
I, Recovery, will be your true friend until you can repair the relationships you may have lost. Anorexia and Bulimia preyed on you, pretending to be your only ally when they really only isolated you from those who sincerely cared. I will be by your side at all times, encouraging healthy, supportive relationships.
Over time I will help you rediscover your dreams and goals. Whatever you want for yourself, I will help you achieve it. I will give you the strength to carry on your path to greatness. I will help you find yourself again. I will return you to the girl who once didn’t base her worth on weight or looks. The girl who didn’t base her value on a number on the scale or by her reflection in the mirror. I will return you to the girl who smiled and meant it, the girl who chased her dreams without fear. I will make you, yourself again.
Recovery can give you everything you ever wanted and more. And unlike Anorexia and Bulimia, I don’t have the harsh demands that take a toll on your body, mind, and spirituality. I won’t make you exhausted or hurt to the core. I won’t damage your confidence or drain you of your worth. But I will not lie, choosing Recovery is not an easy choice. There will be times where you question me and want to run back to the ‘safety’ of your disorder. There will be times when you want to give up or think you can’t deal with it a single second more. There will be times when you hate your life, but I will always stick by your side. I will ease your fears and worries. I will boost you up when you feel down. I will soothe your pain when things get rough. I will help you along the road to Recovery no matter what obstacle comes your way.
Anorexia and Bulimia can only give you pain and death. Self-hatred and depression. Fear and doubt. But I can give you more. I will give you dreams and life. Confidence and joy. Peace and serenity. Recovery will give you the world. All you have to do is choose.
Read part one: I Am Bulimia here- http://substanceforyou.com/i-am-bulimia/
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