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Nick--Hearing Voices or Hearing God?

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I love to work on side projects, but I get sleepy a lot. And sometimes I'm thrown for a loop. Especially lately because I'm coming off of the anti-psychotics I've been on for all 9 years of my sobriety! You may have remembered me talking about it in my last article. If not HERE is the link...

I'm in the processing of tapering down off of something that was mis-prescribed to me when I was first in treatment. But it doesn't mean I can't function. And I sure as hell hope that I'm not truly psychotic. Although lately, when I taper off of the medication I have a hard time telling the difference between divine intervention or just hearing voices.courtesy of LolSnaps.com

I was driving the other day and I had to pull over and take a nap because it takes a lot out of my mind by coming off of these medications; even with tapering down. So, I'm lying there and it feels like I'm having an out of body experience. While this is happening I can feel my heart starting to race as someone begins to talk to me.

He was showing me his vision I thought; meaning God. But it all seemed too real. He wanted to me to do something great, but I wasn't sure if it was truly him or the fact that I could be hallucinating in a dream. Maybe it was just a very lucid dream? Although I've never had words and actions come to me like this before. Let's just thank the Lord that it wasn't anything stupid...

Safe to say that I woke up after an hour and a half nap on the side of the road and continued driving to where I needed to be and went into a manic state to do "His" work. But, the funny thing is... this could be an actual calling from God because it turned out to be a really good idea that is still progressing. 

So, I guess I should ask it. Am I psychotic and really hearing voices? Or was this a divine intervention where God is telling me to help people unlike anyone has done before?

I know that this isn't a very long blog. But, it's not a very long story. And I could still be hallucinating, although, today feels more like a fog. Which is probably why the blog is so short... 

courtesy of makeameme.org

Oh well, oh well. I will continue forward with what I think is God's word, until I find myself at a breaking point probably. It's interesting to look at it from the outside, although I was doing that in my dream, too. I'm still undecided if I was truly hallucinating or not. But no matter the words that came to me, the end goal of them is to help people who are in my situation and shine a light of the world of overprescribing...

Not a bad thing, even though I may be going nuts, right? At least you know why there's a recent debate about mental health and gun laws. My voices could be a little less pleasant... Thank God I realize that. I'm not dangerous; or sure hope not. Hehe?

-Anonymously and gratefully, Nick M. 9 years of whatever

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