Official Website of SubstanceForYou.Com
Cart 0

I’m NOT Selfish!

addiction benefit fix Health help Lifestyle Love meeting positive Recovery selfish sponsor truth

I’m not selfish, although in my early addiction recovery the only person I wanted to help was myself. But no, I’m not selfish! I mean I guess I could be a little bit self-centered… courtesy of highanxieties.org selfish I'm NOT Selfish! ImNotSelfishbut no, no not in a bad way!

I did things on purpose in early addiction recovery. This time everything had to be different. I used to resort back to old behavior, although I was clean. I was getting agitated with myself so I asked my sponsor, “What’s wrong with me? How do I change?”

My sponsor proceeded to walk into the meeting and we sat down at a table with everyone who had 20+ years in “recovery.” Yes, they weren’t just clean but they had earned some sense of how to change. My sponsor said to ask his sponsor that question (he was called my grand-sponsor, it was a family).

My grand-sponsors answer was looking at me and then said it, “What were you doing before?” I couldn’t think of one simple answer and he relieved the pressure as he said I don’t have to answer that but just think on it.

My grand-sponsor looks at me again and said, “If you’re uncomfortable with what you’re doing, then stop doing that. If you were in active addiction before, doing all of those selfish I'm NOT Selfish! largethings you’re thinking about, then in recovery you should be doing the COMPLETE opposite.”

This all seemed to make sense, right? I thought on it and came to one conclusion, I was selfish in my addiction. He concluded with this, though, “It’s 100% okay to be selfish in recovery.”

How was I supposed to make sense of this?

It was simple and started to make sense after a while. My sponsor explained what my grand-sponsor meant by this. He said before we were selfish to the point that we would do anything for that fix. He said that we were fixated on the fix and that was the selfish aspect on us then. He said we wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that fix, so what we did anything, hurt anyone, to get the fix.

selfish I'm NOT Selfish! 361ac0fdd554fcb17019a1bd47bb3a3aHe then went on to say that the concept of recovery is not being fixated on that fix but being fixated on doing the fixing of ourselves. This is where the selfish aspect comes into play.

If we would do anything in addiction to get the fix, we must go to any lengths to gain sobriety and not stop there. We must go to any lengths to gain recovery and a better peace within ourselves. This would require some selfish attitudes on our part still, although we would be changing for the better this time.

The selfish aspect comes into play here when we want to focus primarily on ourselves. But, if we don’t focus on fixing what had been driving us to drugs, alcohol, or sex (whatever your addiction is) then we would continue to hurt those around us. We must change everything we were doing into something we will do to become that better person, selfishly, but for being presently better for others, too.

I am not selfish. The point of this article is that I am not courtesy of stephaniesprenger.com selfish I'm NOT Selfish! Selfistselfish, but at the same time I must be.

If I do not fix those actions that were driving me to use and abuse substances in my life, then I won’t be there for my mother, my brother, my father, my fiancé. If I don’t selfishly work on myself and fix those previous behaviors to something completely different than I won’t be able to be there for others.

Being selfish and focusing on ourselves in early recovery is something I want to say I am not, but I must be doing to be recovering for not just me, but my loved ones.

It’s okay to focus on yourself. It’s okay to do things that will benefit you positively in your lifestyle. The simple matter of the fact is that if you are not able to be present because an addiction is holding you back, that is more selfish than being selfish for a recovering reason.

selfish I'm NOT Selfish! 7031692bc83874f1e949299572738873There are different levels of selfish. If I need to take a night off because my body needs rest in recovery and I can’t go out bowling with the guys, then I will selfishly take the night off. That is one level of selfishness that is acceptable because you are now establishing what an addict never thought he or she would… boundaries.

Another selfish boundary that is acceptable is the word no. An addict is always the type of person that is going to try something once and say F-yes to doing it again after they’ve experimented. So, in recovery it’s not the just say no method, but it’s learning to selfishly say no in a way that benefits your recovery.

For example, if someone who is not an addict but is a friend of mine and says let’s go to the bar and watch Monday Night Football. You are selfishly saying no when they may be begging you to go, no is acceptable. The word no is okay when you know you will be uncomfortable in certain situations.

Now in addiction the roles are reversed. We would say no to a son for going to the baseball game because we know we selfish I'm NOT Selfish! images q tbn ANd9GcTmh2hMJ ymz6 RIwfmhqI9kMChIF2k37v3PBRUBfK2B WK6 X4wouldn’t make it the entire four hours without a fix or grabbing a beer from the aisle man. Do you see how the roles are reversed for being selfish? If we stay within our boundaries of recovery and say no to that negative lifestyle and stay on course with positivity in the “no” we can’t lose.

Take, for example, your little brother needs you to pick him up from “band camp” at 4:30 but you know that’s when you get a fix. You tell him yes, but you secretly know it is a no. What if that yes is secretly a no, you are ultimately holding onto your selfish boundaries that are within the addiction itself. There are varying levels of selfishness and some are healthy, and some are completely detrimental to you, your family and loved ones.

Take the selfish behavior on the right level, and change it courtesy of skepticalob.com selfish I'm NOT Selfish! image2
completely from what you would do in addiction to the 110% opposite.

Who is to say if you say no to your buddies for going out bowling and you stay in that your girlfriend (if you have one) won’t be extremely excited to watch a movie (hoping it’s action, not romance! Lol!).

These are the differences between the types of being selfish and how they will benefit you in recovery versus how they will make you be the opposite in addiction.

Now I’ll say it again… I’m not selfish! Well, maybe I am for the right reasons lol! But, I’m not selfishly feeding my addiction anymore, and I hope this will help keep things in perspective for you in early recovery. This is what was passed on to me by my sponsor and grand-sponsor and has worked for many other recovery families.

Take this with an ounce of truth and pound of love, my friends, this valuable advice could not only help your life but ease your mind when you’re feeling blue for simply just being you. It’s okay! I promise you that!

I AM NOT SELFISH!

Hashtag us #NotSelfish on Twitter @SubstanceForYou

SELFISH selfish I'm NOT Selfish! LogoSELFISH SELFISH about drug addiction about drugs addiction about heroin addiction abuse drug rehab addicted addicted addicted drug addicted to drug addiction addiction addiction and SELFISH addiction book addiction drug addiction drug treatment addiction free addiction help addiction heroin addiction in addiction of drug addiction addiction blog addiction center addiction help addiction support groups addiction to addiction addiction to drug addiction to drugs addiction to heroin addiction to SELFISH addiction treatment addiction treatment center addiction treatment centers addiction treatment program addiction treatment programs addiction treatments addictions and SELFISH addictions book addictions help addictions abuse treatment addiction help addiction treatment treatment center an addiction is an addiction co addiction cocaine addiction help cocaine addiction treatment cost of heroin detox from herion detox heroin detoxing from heroin drug abuse drug abuse help drug abuse treatment drug addicted son drug addiction drug addiction and drug addiction blog drug addiction book drug addiction help drug addiction help free drug addiction is drug addiction reasons drug addiction SELFISH drug addiction rehab drug addiction treatment drug addictions drug and addiction drug and treatment drug and drug addiction drug detox drug of addiction drug SELFISH drug rehab drug rehab centers drug treatment centers free addiction free addiction free drug addiction help help addiction help drug addiction help for addiction help for addictions help for addicts help for cocaine addiction help for drug addiction help for drug addicts help with addiction help with drug addiction herion addiction herion addiction treatment herion detox herion rehab herion treatment heroin abuse heroin abuse treatment heroin addict heroin addiction heroin addiction and heroin addiction blog heroin addiction cure heroin addiction drug heroin addiction facts heroin addiction SELFISH heroin addiction signs heroin addiction stories heroin addiction symptoms heroin addiction treatment heroin addiction treatment centers heroin addiction treatments heroin addiction true stories heroin addictions heroin addicts heroin clinic heroin clinics heroin detox heroin detox at home heroin detoxification heroin drug abuse heroin drugs heroin facts heroin history heroin overdose treatment heroin rehabilitation heroin rehabilitation centers heroin support groups heroin treatment heroin treatment center heroin treatment centers heroin treatment options heroin treatment programs heroin treatments heroin withdrawal heroin withdrawal symptoms heroin withdrawal treatment heroine addiction heroine detox heroine treatment heroine withdrawal treatment how to help addiction how to help drug addiction how to help with drug addiction how to treat heroin addiction just tee lsd treatment marijuana addiction help marijuana addiction treatment opiate addiction opiate addiction treatment opioid addiction treatment overcoming heroin addiction reasons for addiction
SELFISH addiction and addiction SELFISH drug addiction SELFISH for drug addiction SELFISH from addiction SELFISH from addictions from drug addiction SELFISH from heroin addiction SELFISH in addiction signs of heroin addiction sober january 2015 substance abuse substance abuse help substance abuse treatment the drug addiction treating heroin addiction treatment for addiction treatment for drug abuse treatment for drug addiction treatment for herion treatment for heroin treatment for heroin addiction treatment for heroin addicts treatment for substance abuse treatment heroin treatment heroin addiction treatment of heroin treatment of heroin addiction treatment options for heroin treatments for heroin treatments for heroin addiction ways to combat drug abuse what drug addiction what is a drug addiction what is addiction SELFISH what is drug addiction what is heroin addiction what is SELFISH from addiction what is the drug addiction what to do with a drug addicted son why drug addiction


Older Post Newer Post


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published