Throughout my time in recovery I’ve discovered many things that I now consider to have helped in my life due to finding inner peace and serenity, through working on myself, and helping loved ones around me. I made a list and then elaborated. But the order is for you to decide. More of the Pros of Recovery to come, while there are many things for Recovery that lay ahead. This is 5 things that are now considered Pros and positives in my lifestyle in Recovery from Addictions.
o Recovery. In recovery I’ve got very few friends, but don’t discredit them so easily, no. I don’t do huge social gatherings either, unless it’s for a, or I’m in a, public speaking on addiction awareness or recovery. I facilitate and manage to say some good things throughout my days now, but these friends that I’m telling these things to care about me, and only me. I mean this in an honest and goodhearted way, too. They respond to questions and don’t ask for anything, unless it’s something a friend should really do, then it’s alright with both of us. Usually my friends beat me in video games, and it’s usually one of my two best friends. I’m not just best friends with them in a whatever way, but they are my brothers. I don’t always have to hang out with friends to be close to others either, that’s the beauty of recovery. I’m with friends I meet online, in other parts of the world, or in other fashions in spirit, always. Feeling comfortable with this and learning to be with just myself for a while was a test, and it didn’t last forever, although the time passed like sand in a withering glass. I’ve developed a faithful relationship—with my fiancé and a God of my understanding. I do not push religion, but I am getting married in a church, it matters to us and it’s her day, I give her that much for helping me so much too. Before I hated anything more than myself, some would call me an egocentric person, maybe it was true. But, I found love, not again but this was the true one, the first one, and that’s the only one I’ve ever needed at the most right time ever. Without recovery and staying clean I wouldn’t have found someone to mature with. We are engaged and I have 4.5 years clean now. I think her and my parents know just about every secret I have… which is all written in my stories/ go figure!
o Recovery. The world looks better through the eyes of recovery. I feel today, but I feel in a whole new fashion. I don’t get up and rush to get a rush, today I just enjoy being alive, and that means some pain too. I get great pleasure out of many things in life but it’s the pain that keeps me honest! I enjoy hurting sometimes, but only because the callous—whether it’s physical, emotional, or spiritual—proves room to improve and grow stronger. I used to play drums, and I’d always get bruises and bleed in between my fingers from playing massive amounts of hours. But, I can only play life longer as the callouses got bigger, stronger, and thicker. Hurting sometimes grew me and it was a form of protection. If there wasn’t a bit of struggle, I’d still be struggling. It’s the struggle that binds us all and keeps us human, as we are all brothers and sisters in any fight. I stated to embrace life head on and I started to feel it all again, positively and healthy. It brought me strength through not failing, but learning. I wasn’t self-medicating the lifely—human—struggles away. In recovery I grow stronger by every situation I encounter with the proper tools that my safety net and me put in to place. I feel productive; I live a moderate but NOT moderated life now! It feels great!
• Societal Skills
o Recovery. In recovery I had to work at getting to know how to do the right things at the right times. First I’d do something and it would be completely wrong. Then, when I would get something finished the correct way it would then be the most inappropriate time to do it! IRONIC. I first had to work at knowing what these right things are and were as I’m still learning just as I was when I first started the journey of recovery. But, with all things that come with work, the bigger, better, and more positive things come in return to you and those you surround yourself with. “We build ourselves up to be prepared for when life breaks down, just so we can build ourselves up again.” But this time when we build ourselves up we are doing the whole “move 2 steps forward and 1 step back” routine, which is what “society” deems as “normal.” Within my addiction I always battled the “3 steps back and 1 step forward” days I had. With recovery it seems just by staying clean, working on proving the right thing through action and attitude I’m always just one step ahead. And that is a great freedom to have. Staying clean isn’t just staying clean… it’s a failsafe in life. It’s a “serenity” granted by whatever higher power you believe in! It’s just the right thing to do.
• Me, Myself, and I
o Recovery. In recovery I’m the last person I think about, but the first person that I’m trying to take care of. It’s not a selfish thing, oh no. Don’t get me wrong I like to still do things for myself, but not in the typical way any in active addiction would think is “right” to them. I get pleasures out of worldly things and things that other people view as invaluable. I want to give someone else a gift that is unreceivable from anyone else at any other time. That is a true freedom that I have came to terms with being me now, living with myself today. At this is a point I’ve been trying to be motivated for me, for others, and for my higher power for a long time. The best part about knowing who I am is knowing who I must take care of in order to take care of the ones I love most. I know that I can’t take care of others unless I can take care of myself. So, the better I get, the stronger I become, the better my inner self grows, where I’m able to open that up and help different people with different things. It’s kind of like recovery was meant to be at this point.
In recovery being in a prison is quite the opposite of any truth. The first point is that I’m not going to get arrested for drugs. But, it’s not all about that. In addiction we’re tied mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But in recovery we are to learn how, or retrain our thinking, to say, “I’m free.” I’m not saying I will always be free, and yes the addiction comes back at times to test us just like any faith would say. But, you must stay true to being clean and sober, because the serenity will come. I didn’t get into my multiplied solitude over night, and I won’t become exponentially freed overnight, but I can learn to break my chains one link at a time until I’m in a place of social solidarity in my life. That means doing things that are best for your life, staying clean for yourself by providing adequate care for yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I believe I can stay free of drugs, and just for today I can. I did my time and served my sentence, I am earning this recovery I’ve been granted, I AM breaking the bonds and tearing free, grimacing face to face with my demons. I can do this; Recovery works, Recovery is freeing. I’m not stuck in a prison anymore; I’m just, me. I’m recovering.
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