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The Key to Keeping My Husband Sober Is…

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My wife has had a very influential experience in my recovery, there is no denying that! When we first met I was in recovery, but I wasn’t necessarily practicing it to its fullest extent. But when love conquers most things in this world it’s easy to say that she was a pivotal turning point for me to kick my recovery into full gear. I’m not joking either! I was a hot mess when we met, just getting out of the hospital, 2 years sober, with blood clots among other health ailments. But it seemed once we met, got serious, and finally married, my life had become the best it ever could. Why? Because she helped make recovery possible!

Here is a letter from my wife, the wife of Substance For You, telling you how she kept my @$$ in line and truly started working with me on recovery with and without her own sobriety as well…

“Hey everyone!

You can call me Mrs. McCollom, Mrs. Substance For You, or just Patricia! I have to say that when I met my husband I was nervous and didn’t know what to say, especially when it came to addiction recovery. But, I knew that from the first time I met him he was, and still is, the love of my life. So, putting all things aside with addiction and recovery we focused on one thing, and that was faith and hard work. We knew that if we did this together he would start working a better recovery and finally start believing in himself. I could tell he was still partially a broken man. But with me by his side, with me becoming abstinent from alcohol and (never touched) drugs, we, together could and can still do this.

There were some key things that had always helped me in times of struggle. I wanted to give that to him because I truly love him. One thing we tried to focus on early when we met was his immediate health. I knew that he had just gotten out of the hospital and it was very important to make sure he knew how to take care of himself, even if I was half way around the world in the Philippines at this time.

Some ways that I started helping him work on his life were with the basics. I wanted him to absolutely drink more water and at specific times of the day, not only for his liver but for his mental health too. I also wanted him to eat healthy. When we first met he was still a little bit anorexic with his meals and wasn’t eating at proper times. What I taught him was how important it was to eat as soon as he wakes up, drink plenty of water even if he had to force it down, and to always be honest with me about not just food but everything. Why? Because it worked together as we worked together on creating a better recovery. I wasn’t just helping him make a schedule but I knew certain things that he didn’t since he’d been stuck in a rut for so long. And all I wanted to do was pass along that knowledge because everyone deserves to know it for survival and a healthy lifestyle.

Now one piece of advice to you other sober wives out there would be to always look at your husband’s overall health first with certain things. One of these things would be communication, because you have to understand each other in order to understand how to help him recovery better too. And trust me, I’m not just telling you this for no reason, because our communication sucked in the beginning. I’m from a foreign descent than he is, he’s a stubborn recovering addict, and not to mention we come from completely different social classes and our conversations were primarily based over the phone. But if I know one thing about him and I, it would be that love truly prevailed in this story.

How do I know that? Because firstly, we both have our individual flaws and still understand each other because we are meant for each other. Not to mention that he’s still learning but it’s safe to say that he’s been without a mental health episode in quite some time, we’re happily 6 months married and living together in the United States through all of this. His health has been so great since we started this new recovery regimen, too! He hasn’t been to the hospital for any health reasons and doesn’t complain of any emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical pain. And that is a blessing all in it’s own. That is how I know God is good to us. He is progressing in his recovery and I see it by how many people he helps day to day, minute to minute, and second by second. I tell him all the time that he could do this without me and he just replies with the idea of how we first met, like I told you above. He brings me in tight and hugs me close, kisses me on the forehead and says, “Honey, I may not have ever made it to this point in the first place without you. I know recovery is possible, but without you, life wouldn’t have been possible.”

For my closing piece of advice to you sober wives out there, the last key to keeping my husband sober is this… “Be there for him even if you don’t understand. Why? Because sometimes all he needs is your love and comfort to calm him down, not a specific reason, just you.”

With all the love in my husband’s and I’s heart, God’s speed. Recovery is Possible,

-Substance For You’s Wife”

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